January 30, 2008

Ro-beast Rollie's Rednesday Rhetoric

What if I asked a lot of questions every Wednesday? Could I possibly ask as many interesting questions as USA Today asks every Wednesday? Would it be interesting? How many weeks in a row could I just make posts consisting of rhetorical questions that I read in articles and ads in the newspaper and then follow up with my own ridiculous answers? What do you think?


Without local milk producers, do "you think there will be a chance for price gouging? I don't know," said Jeri Kahana, commodities branch manager for the State Department of Agriculture.
I'm bummed out that my first turn at the rhetorical game was already yoinked by Jeri Kahana, commodities branch manager for the State Department of Agriculture. Bitch is always stealing my thunder.

Did Barack Obama give Hillary Rodham Clinton the cold shoulder before Monday's State of the Union address?
No, but he should definitely put his Hamrod in her Oval Orifice.

How could there be so much diversity among voters?
I don't know about you, but I blame the Jew-Run Media.

Do we really want lawmakers deciding how every 4-year-old should prepare for school?
No. We want their 17-year-old mothers to decide.

It's sad to see Sen. Barack Obama lowering himself to engage in the kind of petty, cynical attacks that Sen. Hillary Clinton excels, but what else can he do?
He could do drugs. Lots and lots of drugs. And laugh hysterically at his own farts.

Is it even possible for a black man to win the White House?

No, but there's a Red House over yonder (that's where my baby stays).

When it comes to the experience factor, can celebrity activists be much worse than the foreign envoys we have?
Two Words: Rocky IV.

Who needs the U.S.?
Crying Bald Eagle portraitists.

Has my pizza been forgotten?
Pizza: We Will Never Forget.

What if Brady or Manning had said yes?
Then none of this would've happened? Is that what you're trying to insinuate, Detective Stabler? Stop blaming the victim [drink]* and hand me the rape kit [drink]*.

*This snappy response brought to you by the maker of the Law and Order Drinking Game.

What are your stocks doing now?
Keeping my fteet warm.

Do you honestly think that the New England Patriots were the only team filming other sidelines?
I think that whole thing was to distract us from the toliet cams they were installing in the Jets' locker room.

Is there going to be an increased cost to the university that may be paid for through increased commercialization of athletics?
If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll increase anything you say.

Will we be talking about [Heath] Ledger in the future the way we still talk about [James] Dean - who died more than 50 years ago?
In the future we'll only be talking about Britney Spears' Sister's Baby's DWI-double-suicide-abortion. I'm just kidding... talking will be strictly abolished in favor of typing.

Between eating and drinking in such volume and waiting for the highly hyped commercials, who has time to watch the game?
Autistic Straight-edge Anorexic Yuppies, obviously.

What lies ahead for Fox's '[Moment of] Truth'?
More commercial-padded, over-dramatic and unnecessarily drawn out hour-long episodes that can be easily condensed into 8 minutes on YouTube (that prove the show is still kinda boring).

Does God love you?
God blessed all the Ro-beasts and the Children.

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