Printed Pizza Menu Hacked By Competition...Somehow.

I believe I said years ago on this blog that I didn't think it was a major deal if people occasionally made minor grammatical errors or misspellings in public forums. That's why I don't want to make a huge deal out of the fact that this new menu I received has two on their front page. ""Delivery Fee May Applay" is just a simple mistake. And the bold proclamation "WE DELIVERY" is either an error, or an inside joke for stoners. In either case, any average person knows what Pizza Express is trying to communicate and it's not likely to cause any debilitating confusion for a customer.

But there is a third, very subtle mistake on this menu. (OK, a fourth if you think "NJ,07306" looks a bit cramped.) No, it's not the fax number, the business hours, the credit cards accepted, or the URL. And sure, those are all likely stock photos of Italian restaurant offerings, but I'm sure what Pizza Express cooks up isn't that far off.

I'm talking about the computer with the little Italian flag-colored logo and the pleasant slice of cheese pizza stretched across its screen. That's a great touch and shows me that they're technologically current, but what it doesn't show me is Pizza Express' website. Not only is not Pizza Express' website, it's a rival pizza company's website.

Villa Pizza is a NYC-based pizza franchise that also has a location in Jersey City, less than a mile away from Pizza Express. I can't imagine giving a competitor free ad space is good for business. If this happened on The Apprentice, Donald Trump would most certainly be firing whoever red white & green-lit this choice.

I'm so curious as to how this made it to print that I did some investigating (though not that much because it turns out I'm not really that curious). Pizza Express' menu is made by Menus For Less, which prints menus and other things for businesses. They do custom designs and also have lots of templates. I checked out the Pizza Menu and Italian Menu templates and saw a lot of similar designs, but no exact matches, so it was either a custom job, or a template that is now discontinued because of the computer graphic goof.

I wanted to check Villa Pizza's menu out to see if maybe Pizza Express just copied it and forgot to clean up that detail. I don't think that's the case though. The scan of Villa Pizza's menu that I found online is six years old and it's made by a completely different menu printing company called Menu Mo'n.

Menu Mo'n's website has many typos and grammatical errors on their website. I don't say this to make fun of them, I say this because this sort of supports the idea that maybe the printers aren't any more qualified to proofread than the customers that hire them. Menus For Less' website is in much better shape. I can't deny I saw a couple tiny mistakes, but nothing nearly as glaring as the mistakes on the cover of Pizza Express' menu. Maybe printers simply waive all accountability and say "Hey, we just print what you give us."

What I do know is that on Pizza Express' website, they display every page of their full-color menu--except the front page. Not that there aren't mistakes on the other pages ("Vegeatables"--I'm lookin' at you), but I'm guessing someone pointed out the Villa Pizza computer takeover and it was deemed important enough to take action. I feel bad if it was not their mistake, and if that's the case I hope they got a discount. If it was their mistake, I think they may have learned their lesson. Either way I'll probably give them a try sometime, and as a bonus, I won't proofread this post so they can point out my mistakes.

Totino's Pizza Fella

I'm sure most professional wrestlers these days stay away from carbs, but I still love that they chose Sheamus to promote this--he's the same color scheme as a pizza.

Let's Play Funny/Not Funny

Funny:
Frank the Pizza Man is running for Councilman in Jersey City.

Not Funny:
Frank the Pizza Man is trying to "articulate" his "platform" on JCList.


Funny:
Plowing Mud Forever covers a billboard advertisement with its own stickers, intending to both thwart the trend of yuppie overcrowding in Jersey City and promote its performance at the 4th Street Art & Music Festival.

Not Funny:
Plowing Mud Forever neglects to read the 4th Street Art & Music Festival press release which mentions the billboard size "ad" that fellow local artist Steve Dressler is displaying for the exhibition.


Funny:
Getting to eat all the leftover candy my company gives me to hand out for Halloween, after 0 Trick-or-Treaters show up at my doorstep.

Not Funny:
"While I am very proud to announce that for the first time in company history we have 0 cases in remaining inventory for this selling season, unfortunately that does not allow us to do a desk drop to colleagues... Again, sorry. Have a safe Halloween."


Funny:


Not Funny:


Ok, that was funny.

A Half Hour Dump

Sorry for being an endangered species lately... I have been Internetless at home for the past week and have actually decided to eat lunch during my lunch hour at work. I've got a meeting in 40 minutes, so this will be a smelly stream of crap.

I went to a dog's birthday party this past weekend. I thought it was absurd. Because she's only 1 and probably won't remember.

I made a prank video conference call last week. I accidentally dialed a number where people were sitting in a meeting on the other end, but they didn't have their monitors on, so they had no idea I connected. After a minute of eavesdropping, I decided to call the regular telephone in the room and hung up just as they reached for it. Then I giggled. Then I did it again. That's entertainment.

I bought some pizza on Monday night. I also bought pizza last night. Saturday night too. Not Sunday though. I don't know how I missed Sunday. Sunday I had meat loaf and mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and then I slept for 10 hours. I never sleep for that long. I think slices of pizza are my energon cubes.

Anyway, on the way back from getting pizza on Monday, I walked down the always exciting Newark Ave. to my apartment. I saw a dude on the sidewalk with what I think was a physical defect. From afar it looked like he was daydreaming, but as I got closer I realized his neck appeared to be crooked and his head was permanently tilted towards the sky. As I passed by, he said "What's up, man?" That's what I was wondering too.

I coined a word on the way to work this morning, but now I don't remember it at all. My brain is getting more and more useless every day. Back when I used to drink Mountain Dew every day, I was much sharper and way more creative. I also didn't sleep at night because I had the opportunity to nap during the day.

I hate this post right now. I'm also wasting precious time trying to remember what that word was that I came up with earlier. Did it refer to my Internetless household? Going off the grid? I'm afraid it may be lost forever. Curse LG for not having a proper voice memo function on my cell phone. Curse Creative Labs for making an mp3 player that shit the bed after a year. Who instigated this Technological Slave Revolt? I'll hang him with Cat-5 cables.

Fuck, I was wrong about my meeting. It's starting now. Maybe everyone's watches will stop.