+25 Points to Slytherin IN MY PANTS

In honor of the newly released Harry Potter film (thank god its over, I can't handle another book with 300 FUCKING PAGES ABOUT CAMPING AND WALKING AROUND IN THE FUCKING FOREST), I bring you this gem of sexting from my personal collection. Ain't no sexting like some drunken Harry Potter sexting! HAWT. And also, yes this is what I'm doing when I'm hanging out in the blue lion in between saving the universe and potty-training my own little adorable Princess of Power. ENJOY. Maybe I'll post more now that baby is not gnawing on my lifeforce every, single day. NO PROMISES, but I'll try.









PS. If this kind of thing gets you excited, TPHD is available for sighs and moans and ALL CAPS TONE POEMS ABOUT LIFE. You can find him here on the twitter machine.


<3 - teh_Beauty aka D_S

Building a Better Mailbox

The RoBeastress has a never-ending supply of Crate & Barrell and Pottery Barn catalogs sent to her. Just once, I'd like to see these arrive in the mailbox instead:

Hello. Is it Steve you're looking for?

The Double D's are no coincidence.

Better Homes and Gardens doesn't show up, but I couldn't resist making this. 

YOU BABY!

There shouldn't really be anything particularly funny about this billboard for the IVF NJ Fertility Center, but it still cracks me up every time I see it.

When approaching it from a distance, all I can read is the taunt: YOU BABY. I've been passing it for six months now, so I know there's more to the message, but I still yell back at it "NO, YOU BABY!"

So insensitive.

   

Green Tree: Trolling Hippie Vegetarians Since 1894

I was behind this hippie-lovin' green tree-huggin' truck yesterday morning:

Wait, THE MEAT SPECIALIST?

Prime Beef? Fresh Fish?? ETC.???

I guess you could sum up that business with the name Green Tree, right? High-five!