January 5, 2015

BREAKING: I Can't Breathe Watching This "Gentle Giant" Perform Such An Offensive Protest

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie shunned by affluent white men for performing Hands Up, Don't Shoot protest in Texas.
Soon-to-be-former-Governor Chris "This-Action-Is-Patently-Offensive-And-A-Kick-In-The-Gut-To-Police-Officers-And-Real-Conservatives-Everywhere" Christie was caught by television cameras this past weekend performing the Hands Up, Don't Shoot protest in solidarity with violent thug supporters of Michael Brown. It is presumed that Gov. Christie has not read the thousands of coroner and eyewitness reports we can't stop posting on Facebook that only support our opinion that Brown never once in his life had his hands up nor did he not want to get shot.

We urge all of our readers to exercise your Right To Express Disappointment in the leadership of the state of New Jersey by refusing to pump your own gas for the rest of the week.* Imagine the message this will send to Adolf Hussein Obummer and his Muslim friends that are allowing gas prices to be so low while a non-Republican is in the White House.

Up with gas prices, not with hands!

* (Unless you are in NJ where you already don't have to pump your own gas. In this case, you may protest Chris Christie's heinous acts by riding the PATH train all night long.)

BREAKING: Shocking News Written To Shock You Into Complete Shock

As if his constant racist cop-hating public rants weren't enough, you won't believe what Obummer-in-Training has come up with now...

In response to the NYPD turning their backs on him during two recent funerals of their fallen comrades brothers, Mayor DiBLAHsio has now fast-tracked legislature mandating all law enforcement officers to be outfitted with body monitors. These monitors will display live streaming video of the Mayor's face and they will be physically unable to turn away. 

An anonymous Police Union spokesperson probably has stated "I'm extremely frustrated that our police force will no longer be able to turn their backs on the fascist Mayor, but on the bright side, these screens are pretty bulky and will block whatever the police body cameras were going to pick up."

Not only is this spiteful action from New York City's Mayor a violation of every Constitutional Right To American Freedom, these television monitors are likely being made in Japan, Korea, and Vietnam, so if you were looking for a tenuous link to Veterans being shit on somehow in this completely unrelated article, you just found it. 

Since every police officer will be unable to turn-the-other-cheek from this slap-in-the-face right under-their-nose, we here at Conservative Beauty and the Right-RoBeast urge all of our brothers- and sisters-in-blue to stop writing tickets and instead protest these actions by continually spinning in a circle for the entire duration of their shifts.