October 13, 2012

Fiber Plus One = Jerk

Almost a year to the date after The Great Smart Pop/Smart Balance Hullabaloo of 2011, I've discovered the next great grocery store non-controversy from Kellogg's Department of Uncreativity*.

Hey, I got an idea. I want to make a tasty bar with fiber in it, but with chocolate or something sweet on top to get people to eat it! And I'll put like, I don't know, 35% of a person's daily value of fiber in it and then circle it to draw real attention to it! And then I'll take a picture of it, pull it halfway apart so you can see the strings of moist, juicy goodness** and put that on the box! Hmm, what will I call it? I don't know... Fiber-something! It doesn't matter as long as it's one syllable and tricks people into thinking they're buying a Fiber One bar***! I'LL BE RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!


The Ghost of W.K. Kellogg

* Unlike the popcorn entry, the boxes' adjacency is not staged for the photo.


*** Note that at the right edge of the first photo, a box of Fiber Max bars is lurking. This is a generic America's Choice brand bar and is therefore exempt from my criticism.

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