|The Anvil & The Hitman - 1990|
|The RoBeast & The RoBeastress - 2013|
Up until a month before Halloween, we had been on a completely different costume course. I won't share what it is (because we may actually put it into action someday), but it had an element to it that I didn't feel we were ready to construct. Fortunately, while watching a WWE DVD about Bret Hart called The Best There Is, The Best There Was, The Best There Ever Will Be, the brilliant idea struck. I realized that my wife had the perfect hair to be Bret "The Hitman" Hart and I had already started growing a beard and could probably pull off a Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart goatee in time.
After dressing as man for the past two Halloweens, the RoBeastress swore she would not make it a threepeat, but I assured her that she would not need to change her hair, wear any facial hair, or suppress any of her female parts. A few days went by of her not coming up with any better alternatives, so my plan leaped off of the drawing board--we would attempt to dress up as The Hart Foundation during their second WWF World Tag Team Championship reign (circa 1990/1991).
|Dreaming of gold and a longer beard.|
|Our floor, the site my annual painting projects.|
The Hart Foundation had several variations in their color combination those days, but we agreed on the black top/pink bottom look. The RoBeastress procured the tights and tanktops and I set about adding the stripes, hearts, and nicknames. I had never worked with that type of paint before so I did my best with the Jacquard Textile Color Fabric paints that cosplay messageboards seemed to recommend. This is where I ran into some snags. First, every art supply store seemed to be out of black and had no idea when the next delivery would be. I eventually managed to track some down though. Next, the white paint I picked up was "Super Opaque" which is probably awesome for your average fabric, but spandex was a challenge. After already painting the stripes, I realized that the white cracked fairly easily once it went on, so I vowed to paint everything on thick and then not be tempted to try anything on until the minute it needed to be worn.
|Bret's better boots.|
We finished the costume off with white socks over sneakers that I painted to look like boots. Painting your own feet is tough and hurts after a while, so I'd say the Bret Hart boots came out better. Oh, there were also knee and elbow pads which were just cut up socks.
|Recreating a WWF Trading Card|
|My badass wife.|
The parties we attended were the Saturday before actual Halloween (I had to work the night of the 31st) but we received a fair amount of hi-fives and recognition which made me happy. My wife as Bret definitely got more attention since he had the more successful solo career of the two wrestlers in the long run. Also, she looked better in tights than I did.
Now we have a quick little rundown of our costumes for future generations to enjoy:
Finally, I should also mention that I submitted our photo for the costume contest on Collegehumor. Despite entering in the first few hours of the contest being live and soon confirming my submission via email, our photo was never put up on the site for voting. Not that we would've won, but this seemed to happen to a lot of people, so it was very lame of them. /sourgrapes