Beware of Being Aware

Last week, the RoBeastress and I spotted this vehicle sporting an unusual Pretzel-Shaped Awareness Ribbon. The license plate has been slightly doctored to reflect my feelings about driving I-95 at rush hour on a holiday weekend.

Even at this close distance, the message on the decal was illegible to me, so I hypothesized that because the design itself is such an endangered species that this Pretzel-Shaped Awareness Ribbon was actually a Pretzel-Shaped Awareness Ribbon Awareness Ribbon. Makes sense, right?

Unfortunately, my crime lab isn't sophisticated enough to clean up this zoomed-in surveillance photo, so this is all we have to work with. I must admit that upon closer inspection, I can make out two intertwined, yet distinct colors--blue and pink. I am now led to believe this ribbon may additionally support none or all of these following causes:

• Transgendered Sodium Freedom
• Interracial Awareness Ribbon Marriage
• Heterodizygotic Conjoinedness
• Blueberry/Strawberry Dough Farmer Harmony
• The Lexus Nexus of the Sexes
• Mutated Jesus Fish Stem Cell Research
• Concession Stand Labor Union Gender Equality
• Mr. Salty for President 2012
• Dogs and Cats Living Together

If I'm wrong, then at least The Mars Volta has their next album track listing squared away.  Further research on the internet turned up Motivators.com, a website that sells Awareness Ribbon-Shaped Pretzels...

 ...but no Pretzel-Shaped Awareness Ribbons as far as I can tell. This one from Kim and Scott's Pretzels looks a little more appetizing...

 ...but the seagulls probably wouldn't stop to appreciate the message if I attached it to the back of my car.

Alas, a mystery has been opened and I am now too hungry to solve it. Check out this hook while my DJ revolves it.