June 21, 2012

Pour 'em a glass of LOL's!

And a side of WTF.

Now, I'm a fan of non sequitur humor, but this has the hip factor of a Christian Broadcasting Network X-treme Kidz Club Puppet Show!!! type of program. Welch's, go back to the Super FunZone and put yourself in Time Out. Come back when you're ready to think a little further outside the box.
Pour 'em a Glassion of Passion!
Pour 'em a Glass of Lively, Exotic, and Lab-Created Flavor!
Pour 'em a Glass of CAB's (Committee-Approved Buzzwords)! 
Pour 'em a Glass of Some Sugar On Me!
Blast 'em with an Assload of Fruits, Motherfuckerz!

This is why I don't get paid the big bucks.


June 13, 2012

Jazzerciser


This Jagermeister/Jazzercise hybrid has been a few years in the making. I'm finally satisfied with it. JAZZERBOMBS for everybody!

June 5, 2012

Man in a Phone Booth On A Ledge

Now on Blu-Ray...
Man in a Phone Booth on a Ledge

Where a Man in a Photo Booth on a Ledge desperately tries to explain
the plot of ATM to his friend on the other line...

for 127 Hours!

How did he get up there?
What's taking him so long?
Why didn't he just use his cell phone?

Here's what critics are saying:

"It's Speed, but in a phone booth... on a ledge."
Master Gio, Words From the Master

"No, it's Snakes on a Plane... but with a man instead of the snakes
and a phone booth on a ledge instead of the plane."
Anonymous, Schlock Treatment

"What's a phone booth?"
Ryan Stevens, Life in a 'Cast

"Your Thumbwrestler joke was funnier than this. Thumbs down."
Jay Amabile, The Sexy Armpit


"What's my fake quote going to be?"
James Greene Jr.,  JG2 Land


"I can't wait for this blog entry to end!"
Ralph Santiago III,  The RS3 Feed