September 21, 2008

Labels suck!

After yesterday's Jersey City Olympic Kickball Tournament, I needed to buy a few bandages and a new tube of topical antibacterial ointment. With a rare stroke of luck and efficiency, I found a Neosporin/Band-Aid hybrid for sale at Duane Reade. It came with just 3 Band-Aids (awesome), but also a giant plastic Neosporin carrying case on a key ring (unnecessary) which caused the box to be twice as large as your average Neosporin package. It seemed that the Johnson & Johnson folks had to grasp at straws to fill in all the extra white space on the oversized box:

"Great for Kitchen, Office, Travel, Anywhere"? I think "Great for Anywhere" would have sufficed. Or even just "Great." Or put the Neosporin inside the case like it was supposedly created for, and have a smaller box, saving money on packaging, space for shipping, and reducing waste. But what do I know? I'm just the consumer.

While Johnson & Johnson seems to overexplaining on their packages, other companies are omitting valuable articles. According to this tube, Colgate-Palmolive seems to be selling me an "Extra Clean & Healthy Mouth," and not toothpaste "For An Extra Clean & Healthy Mouth."

And everybody knows about NyQuil--I mean NQuil. Vicks loves their big fucking Q, but gives no love to the lowercase y.

I think they might have designed this to fuck with me after taking the nightime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so I can hallucinate at 4 AM medicine. All right, I know nobody's perfect, but the people creating and selling these products are getting paid the big bucks. If I'm going to get barraged by advertising all day long, these things should at least make sense. I want what I pay for. And that includes the little "y" on my pills.

Posted by Picasa
See that symbol? It means I posted this blog using new Picasa 3 software. That will explain why the formatting is all fucked up, and now that I'm attempting to fix it in Blogger, I am finding my efforts fruitless. Sure, I can just go to the "Edit Html" tab, and comb through the container tags and erase a couple of the "center" ones, but I shouldn't have to do that. Wah, wah, poor me.


metheus said...

And if they're going to have the "Great for" section, at least they could provide a "Not so hot for" section too.

* Caulking
* Garnish
* Sore Throat

Jay Amabile said...

they got a lot of balls, don't they? That's why I try to bypass getting sick altogether by being a hermit and rarely leaving my condo lol.