December 16, 2008

Scream Really Loud

Today's Secret Word is CONFIRM.
Hi RoBeast:
As you can see, T----- possibly has a videoconference on Tuesday. It will be confirmed tomorrow. It will be with only one site, and I need to confirm that they will initiate the call. Please confirm that you can be there to help, if the videoconference is confirmed. Thanks.
Yes, if you're wondering, every email from this person reads this way. And every time I scream really loud.
Hi RoBeast:

I'm just confirming that you will be able to initiate the below videoconference with U------- tomorrow morning at 7:00 am. Please confirm. Thanks.
This next one is the greatest I've ever seen, but wasn't directed to me. For some reason though, I was still copied on it. Maybe she just didn't want me feeling left out:
I already ordered food from you for this and you confirmed my order - please see below and confirm. Here's a copy of the catering order and your confirmation. Please confirm it will now be in Conference Room C on the second floor. Please confirm.
The good thing is that PLEASE always accompanies CONFIRM, so I can't get too upset. It's just that I will get these Please Confirm requests every day up until the meeting. Is my original confirmation not good enough? Is my reputation so shitty that I need to follow up every ten minutes? Is it an OCD thing?

It may be on my part a bit. I was just pointing out to the RoBeastress recently that I have a aversion to repeated words in writing. So it's a style preference that just sets me off when I see other people repeating a lot. I realized a few years ago that I also have a problem repeating myself aloud the same way twice. If someone asks me to repeat myself, I will inevitably rearrange the sentence or choose different words completely.

I'm somewhere in between Jimmy Two Times,

and Anthony One Time.

In other related news, last Friday I signed my letter of intent to work for the company that is swooping in to take over my department. I can't say I'm 100% on board with the whole plan to hotsauce my department globally, nor was I a fan of the anxiety I've had for more than 6 months due to excruciatingly poor communication from my current company C-------* and my future company, J--*, but the incoming company did manage to do a good job matching up my benefits and compensation. Of course, I didn't have all my questions answered until about an hour before the signing deadline (which was already extended), but in the end we may have all gotten what we wanted.

Now go home and get yer fuckin' shinebox.

* I think it's a shame that I can't openly criticize my company despite all the shit they've put me through, but that's the law, eh? Some anti-corporate crime fighter I am. My buddy and former coworker Ethan gets around this by writing his company name backwards so the Co-Bots can't track him down. I haven't confirmed a fun codename yet for the company that I'm confirmed to start with in January, but I'll confirm a confirmation with you all soon enough.

PS - Trying to type this Blogger entry has been a complete pain in my ass, due to my attempts at blockquoting, font changes, embedding youtube clips, and copying some text from Microsoft Word. These are simple fucking things, but Blogger loves to be buggy, and to not respond to my complaints. Thanks again fuckers.


Anonymous said...

Here's what I would do if they asked me to confirm something a second or third time. Attach your original confirmed response e-mail to the reply e-mail you are sending, and type, "Please see attached" in the message. It's a polite corporate way of saying, "Hey, dumbass, I already answered your question!"

100monkeys said...

Fucking email confirmations. We never had these problems in my day! Once you sent seven to ten carbon coies in the vaccum tubes people knew that you did your job!