July 29, 2010

Sticker Attack!

After parking at the office this morning, I looked back at my car and noticed something weird about my bumper. Amidst my family of bumper stickers were intruders. I have become the victim of a sticker attack.

Hello, I'm Illegible.

That thing in the middle seems to be a warped King of Diamonds. What it means or represents, I have no idea. Like the "Hello I'm..." sticker, it doesn't seem to convey any accessible information to an unhip layperson like myself and only serves to preach to already initiated. The imagery is pretty stereotypical and unoriginal, so there's no way I'll be able to look up what it is on the internets. Because I usually keep my car parked in front of a sneaker store that specializes in rare and vintage collectible sneakers, my guess is it probably refers to a skate company or a sneaker brand. I've never actually gone in the store because I'm completely disinterested in vomitaciously colorful thousand-dollar sneakers, so I may never find out what these stickers represent. Maybe I'll ask one of the European tourists that line up on the sidewalk waiting for the store to open. Wait, I mean crowd the sidewalks... Europeans wait in line.

If I sound angry here, I'm really not. I have a ton of stickers on my car already, so I'm not exactly concerned about spoiling the value of my bumper. Besides, Plowing Mud Forever stickers have been known to show up on quite a bit of public/government property and on plenty of bathroom walls, so I guess karmically, my property is fair game for vandals. In fact I used to entertain the idea of creating a "<---SUCKS" sticker specifically for the purpose of attacking other people's stupid bumper stickers, so I've just been beaten at my own game. I'm probably inviting trouble here, but I wish I was attacked by someone with a little more creativity. Not that a black and white solid text Plowing Mud Forever sticker is particularly clever, but at least our sticker is an invitation to something a little deeper beyond the surface (nice rationalization).

I guess the real question here, is do I take them off or leave them there until I find a better replacement?

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