Why You Got Zero Stars

To make a long story short, I paid for something and you didn't give it to me.

To make a long story TL;DR, here we go...

I own an LG Dare. I went through many thrilling adventures with Verizon to make the Dare a successful part of my pocket arsenal. It's got its quirks but I'm mostly satisified with the device. One of the features I particularly enjoy is the USB data cable which not only allows me to transfer files from the phone to my PC (and vice versa), but also serves as a recharging mechanism. Sounds pretty efficient if you ask me. My computer is on at work all day, so I never had an excuse for a drained phone battery, and the once I got the hang of the data transfers, I was packing the phone with music and photos. Realistically though, to have a multi-purpose tool means I'm multi-fucked if I lose it. Inevitably, I did.

Verizon sells replacement data cables for $20.00, which to me is completely obscene. They really should be giving these cables away to their customers. Without the cable, my phone battery dies, and Verizon won't be able make any money off my paperweight. It behooves them to make sure I have a full charge at all times, making it more likely that I'll make billable calls or texts. Maybe they think I'm so lazy that I'm more likely to buy a whole new phone rather than look for or replace my cable. Either way, they are doing it wrong, and I'm not going to kowtow to that.

My quest for sticking it to the man soon brought me to eBay, where I knew I could get a similar knock-off for a fraction of the price. It didn't take long before I found an auction item listed by thecellshop (aka TheCellShop.net). They had high ratings and are OK USA! They offered not only the USB data cable, but a whole bundle that also included a wall charger and a car charger. The photo was generic, but the listing was pretty specific: "Home+Car Charger+USB Data Cable for LG Dare VX9700 NEW." After shipping, it would come to less than $7. I knew I'd have to wait a little bit, but I was willing to be patient in order to undermine Verizon. I chose the "But it Now" option and paid immediately. That was August 18th. The item was prepared for shipping the next day.

A few days later I received confirmation that the item shipped. But what they described as my item was not the same as in the auction listing.

Dear Rollie,

This email has been sent to confirm that your order from TheCellShop.net has shipped!

Details of this order are as follows.

- Invoice # 7643323
- "Cell Phone Car Charger for Motorola RAZR2 V9 V9m V9x", "New Home Wall Charger for Motorola RAZR2 v9 v9m v9x Q9h", "NEW PC SYNC PC USB Data Cable for BlackBerry Curve 8900"

Your order has now left our warehouse and is on its way to you.

Also attached was a shipment tracking number which did not work. And somewhere along the line, my LG Dare turned into a Motorola RAZR and/or a BlackBerry Curve. I figured it was possible these items were all compatible, but since they didn't explain it explicitly, I needed to double check.

The DHL tracking number provided in the email does not work. Also, I want to make sure the correct item is being shipped here. The Ebay auction I won is:

Home+Car Charger+USB Data Cable for LG Dare VX9700 NEW - eBay390061843697

But in your shipping email, it says

"Cell Phone Car Charger for Motorola RAZR2 V9 V9m V9x", "New Home Wall Charger for Motorola RAZR2 v9 v9m v9x Q9h", "NEW PC SYNC PC USB Data Cable for BlackBerry Curve 8900"

Are these all compatible items, or is it a mistake?

I immediately received an auto-reply explaining that they would respond to my email within 1-2 days. The message also stressed how badly they would like to "EARN" a positive 5-star rating in their eBay feedback.

Sure enough, the next day I received a response.

The item that you ordered is the Home+Car Charger+USB Data Cable for LG Dare VX9700 NEW. Since your order is under $11 or weighs under a pound, there is no tracking number. Your item did ship though, and should arrive any day now.

I can deal with the tracking number policy (why send me a non-functional one then?), but they didn't exactly address my compatibility question. "Any day" soon arrived, confirming my suspicions.

The USB Data Cable included in the package works fine as a charger, but does not function as an actual USB Data Cable. The phone and the computer would normally auto detect when I connect the cable, but now I get a "Connection Failed" error. Is there something wrong with this cable, or are these not really meant for data?

I now had three ways to resuscitate my comatose phone, but still no way to transfer data. My needs only being halfway satisfied means my needs are not satisfied.

Three days later, a response.

I will reship one to you asap.

We want to earn your positive feedback with 5 stars on eBay. If you have any concerns let me know right away so I can take care of them before leaving any feedback.

While I appreciated the desire to correct their error at their expense, it probably wasn't the best time to remind me of the eBay feedback again. I held off my star clicking again, but at this point, the pressure was really on for cellphoneshop.

Almost two weeks later, another package arrived. It was the same cable. I had no choice but to resort to CAPS.

I received the new cable and it is the same exact problem. These cables charge but will NOT transfer any data via the USB input, making it useless to me. I looked up the part number and "MOVR 8 USB" refers to a product intended for a MOTOROLA phone. I DON'T HAVE A MOTOROLA--I have an LG phone. I questioned that in my original email to customer service and I was assured that the product arriving would be for an LG. IT'S NOT. Your ebay auction clearly listed "USB Data Cable for LG Dare VX9700 NEW" and that's why you got my money in the first place. Now it's been nearly a month and I still don't have everything that was advertised. Either your company is misrepresenting the products in its auctions or there has been a lot of miscommunication.

Last chance.

Maybe I shouldn't have offered them a last chance. Maybe there shouldn't have been a second or first chance either. Was this my own fault? Should I have just gone to Verizon in the first place? Was I being punished for trying to take the cheap way out? Was that month of waiting worth the savings of $14? Can any of these little stores be trusted? Does Verizon sabotage them so you have to eventually come crawling back? Maybe Verizon owns them and gets your money in every direction! [/conspiracytheory]

They wrote back:

I do apologize, We had a bad batch of cables that we received, We will reship you a good cable this time.

We want to earn your positive feedback with 5 stars on eBay. If you have any concerns let me know right away so I can take care of them before leaving any feedback.

This was over a month ago and I never received the cable. Whether it was good or bad, I guess I'll never know. NOW YOU'VE EARNED A FUCKING ZERO. IT REFLECTS MY NEW AND UNFORTUNATE LACK OF CONFIDENCE IN EBAY STORES LIKE YOURS. IT ALSO REFLECTS THE ZEROS IN 20.00, THE PRICE I'M NOW GOING TO HAVE TO PAY TO GET A CABLE THAT ACTUALLY WORKS. I HOPE YOU ENJOY MY MONEY AND MY ZEROS, SHITMOUTH!

Unfortunate update: eBay's policy is that after 60 days, you can no longer leave feedback on an item. After 45 days, you can no longer open a case with the eBay resolution center. This policy is fantastic when your seller doesn't string you along for two months. I had already resigned to the fact that I'd probably never get this cable, so I at least wanted to give them an piece of my mind, officially. Now it seems that's been robbed from me as well, so I'm going to go back to bitchy emails.