Facial Matter

The RoBeastress and I made a quick stop at the Super Food Town in my hometown of Bayville, NJ last night. My latest grossacea flare-up coupled with a day out in the hot sun left me with a lot of dry skin that needed to be taken care of (shinfo), so we hit the skin care aisle hard.

The first thing the RoBeastress picked up was a battery-powered massager by Dove:It stood out from the crowd because it was obviously a giant vibrator that begged "Try Me!" I responded by pulling the unusually designed Le Scrub off the shelf.

You see, the top is shaped for use as a "handy sponge holder." Here, let's me demonstrate:


This Method item is meant to scrub your sink and shower as well as clean your pipes. Unfortunately, it wasn't going to do a damn thing for my face, so I tossed it back with the other promiscuous bottles.

To be honest, I don't even remember what cosmetic cocktail we did end up purchasing for my poor pore pour. It either didn't have "facial" in the name or couldn't take the place of our genitals. For your health!