April 16, 2008

A Half Hour Dump

Sorry for being an endangered species lately... I have been Internetless at home for the past week and have actually decided to eat lunch during my lunch hour at work. I've got a meeting in 40 minutes, so this will be a smelly stream of crap.

I went to a dog's birthday party this past weekend. I thought it was absurd. Because she's only 1 and probably won't remember.

I made a prank video conference call last week. I accidentally dialed a number where people were sitting in a meeting on the other end, but they didn't have their monitors on, so they had no idea I connected. After a minute of eavesdropping, I decided to call the regular telephone in the room and hung up just as they reached for it. Then I giggled. Then I did it again. That's entertainment.

I bought some pizza on Monday night. I also bought pizza last night. Saturday night too. Not Sunday though. I don't know how I missed Sunday. Sunday I had meat loaf and mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and then I slept for 10 hours. I never sleep for that long. I think slices of pizza are my energon cubes.

Anyway, on the way back from getting pizza on Monday, I walked down the always exciting Newark Ave. to my apartment. I saw a dude on the sidewalk with what I think was a physical defect. From afar it looked like he was daydreaming, but as I got closer I realized his neck appeared to be crooked and his head was permanently tilted towards the sky. As I passed by, he said "What's up, man?" That's what I was wondering too.

I coined a word on the way to work this morning, but now I don't remember it at all. My brain is getting more and more useless every day. Back when I used to drink Mountain Dew every day, I was much sharper and way more creative. I also didn't sleep at night because I had the opportunity to nap during the day.

I hate this post right now. I'm also wasting precious time trying to remember what that word was that I came up with earlier. Did it refer to my Internetless household? Going off the grid? I'm afraid it may be lost forever. Curse LG for not having a proper voice memo function on my cell phone. Curse Creative Labs for making an mp3 player that shit the bed after a year. Who instigated this Technological Slave Revolt? I'll hang him with Cat-5 cables.

Fuck, I was wrong about my meeting. It's starting now. Maybe everyone's watches will stop.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Without the Mt Dew you seem to be slowly turning into Steven Wright. Have you thought about getting a full body tattoo of yourself, only taller?