April 28, 2008


would be the title of this post if Priceline didn't work for me, but the stars aligned for once and the Internet actually worked in my favor! My unbeastly mate (with the non-nipple cannoned Ro-Breasts) and I eased on down the road to Philadelphia this past weekend to learn about jail breaks and cheesesteaks (as documented in my Picasa photo library if you're interested), but the most memorable moment is still when Priceline accepted my bid on the hotel room. Hey, nothing against Philly, but when an advertisement tells the truth, you're damn right I'm going to be impressed.

Because I went that whole week without Internet (gasp!), I found myself watching a lot of television. And when I say 'a lot of television,' I just mean I put A&E or USA on for hours and watch the same shows and commercials over and over. One of those commercials was for Priceline. This one:

I knew we were traveling soon, but still had not booked a hotel room. I never used Priceline before and have always been wary of deals that seem too good to be true. Especially on TV. Double especially on the I-Net. Triple especially when they involve William Shatner (who has tried to convince us that warping around the sun enables time travel). I would try to sleep at night, but kept hearing Shatner whisper in my ear. "Cupcake... mamby-pamby..." This was torture.

So the time finally came to book and I announced to my space companion, "I'm going to do exactly what they do in the commercial." I was jadedly confident that it would not work, but there was no harm in trying, I reasoned. I entered my name, then entered my bid. 4-star. $99. Downtown Philadelphia. (Ok almost exactly the same as the commercial - we weren't staying on the Vegas strip). 45 seconds later we had a room reserved for the Hyatt Regency at Penn's Landing. I couldn't fucking believe it. A $99 room in a 4-star hotel with only two days' notice. Rad.

Now the catch... The room is non-refundable. Priceline adds $30 or so for tax and fees automatically on top of your bid. They do not guarantee what kind of room you get, other than the promise that it will be set for 2 adults, and in a hotel in at least as many stars in the area you've requested. Considering that rooms at the Hyatt start in the high $200's, I was all right with the risk.

We ended up with a non-smoking room on the 5th floor with two beds and a shower with a curved rod. I don't know why that's important to anyone, but I like saying "curved rod." It was waterfront, but did not have a particularly spectacular view. So what -- Selena was on the flatscreen TV. And look how happy Jennifer Lopez is reading this paragraph. Not as happy as I was getting hotel sex for only $99 while wearing my new Rocky Balboa trunks!

We unfortunately did not get to go to the Star Wars exhibit at the Franklin Institute because I don't know what "We highly recommend that you purchase tickets ahead of time" means. Shatner would not have approved anyway.

The other thing I learned was that Pearl Jam is required to be on every radio station every 15 minutes in Philly. It's in the Constitution or something.


Pamela Tribbons said...

I laughed seriously between 8-10 times during this one blog ALONE. Bravo.

teh Beauty said...

Look, my twitter friends love you. What could you need or want?

teh Beauty said...

I'm sorry "what MORE"

Alan said...

We listened to Shatner's "Has Been" album for a bit on the way home. Wally made a positive comment towards his vocals before I even told him who it was.