June 27, 2008

A quick one before I begin what better be a sunny weekend in NJ

A couple weeks ago I bought 12 Angry Months, the new Local H album. And I finally listened to it. While I'm not going to give you a full review here, I just wanted to give you some highlights (like Bob Ross would do if you were a happy little tree).

- It's a concept album. Each song represents a month of a year after a break-up.

- Local H usually has pretty decent song titles. "Jesus Christ! Did You See The Size Of That Sperm Whale?" is my favorite on this album because it is particularly Don Caballero-esque. Title-wise, I mean. Local H sounds nothing like Don Cab.

- "The One With 'Kid'" is the album opener and is a rad song. It's a song that the Foo Fighters are too fucking pretentious now to write. And I'm going to show you the lyrics, and you're going to say "those lyrics are so fucking pretentious, what is that asshole RoBeast talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Yeah, well fuck you! The song is about wanting your shit back from an ex-girlfriend. It really happens, and it really makes people angry.

Give me my Zeppelin CD's.
You know you took 'em. You know you did.
Where's my Pretenders record?
You know the one. The one with "Kid."
Where's all my AC/DC's?
My Interpol? My Libertines?

Where's all my Kyuss records?
You never liked them until you met me!

And no, I never lent my Kyuss records to any girlfriends, but we're all missing things, so I can sympathize. And get pissed too!

My version would be:

Give me back my "Your Mother" hat.
I should've got it when I gave you your crap.
Where's my book about early Hardcore?
I read it once, but I wanna read it more!
Where's my cool green hoodie?
Ah, you probably don't remember because that was like eleven years ago
and I think I gave it to you anyway so I really shouldn't expect it back
Not that it matters, I can replace all this stuff.
I say 'all this stuff' like it's even a lot of stuff.
3 stupid things over the course of 14 years of relationships isn't such a bad track record
which is why I don't write angry songs about breakups like Local H does

WHATEVERT. I'm angrier at Dave Grohl than I am all of my ex-girlfriends combined. BUT, I'm going to add the track to my myspace page so y'all can hear it legally. How 'bout them apples? Read my fucking blogs there if you're bored. Hopefully, I'll be on the beach thinking of more shitty entries to write on Monday.

Oh, I found out recently that I have Local H's autograph. I apparently bought a used Local H CD that the two dudes from the band had signed. Whoop-de-shit! I really don't give a fuck about autographs, but I'll add it to my collection (that consists of Mike Patton and Michelle Branch) anyway.

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