June 2, 2008

RoBeast Rollie reviews Sex and the City - The Movie

Finally I got to see the new Sex and the City Movie yesterday! I'll be reviewing it in detail so if you haven't seen it yet yourself and are worried about spoilers, then stop reading now.


Ok, we all remember where the HBO series ended--with the girls having just won the All-Valley Blowjob Championship. The movie picks up 9 months later, as the girls are now deep in their training to defend their title against the younger and more agile Teen Girl Squad. Things quickly take a turn for the worse as the City Girls' sensei (played by BJ Master Barbara Walters) dies.


With their momentum now interrupted by tragedy, the girls are faced with the dilemma of continuing training on their own, or going back to their day jobs (as wardrobe designers for Vagisil commercial shoots). Things get even worse when the slutty one disappears to "go find herself." But the rest of the girls eat a pint of Hagen Dazs, dye their hair, buy a handbag or something, and write Hate Poems about the slutty one in order to get their confidence back...

But The Teen Girl Squad turns up the heat by sabotaging the team with a new secret weapon --pink kryptonite lipstick--that strips the City Girls of their blowjob powers.

On the day of the competition, all hell breaks loose. The building has been violently seized by terrorists in masks and the Teen Girl Squad is slaughtered. The Sex and The City girls are secretly elated, as they now automatically retain their title. But it turns out the terrorists are not after money... they are after the girls' titles. The challenge is on!

Unfortunately at this point, all the dudes in the crowd are scared shitless and unable to get it up for BJ Battle. No one knows what to do. Suddenly, the slutty one bursts through the door and in a shocking turn of events, she single handedly wins the competition.

How, you ask?

???

!!!

Autofellatio, of course.

The Sex and the City girls retain their titles. The terrorists are arrested and are revealed to be The Golden Girls. And oh yeah, Mr. Big makes an appearance too.

6 comments:

teh Beauty said...

Your skillz sensei; I bow before them. Alsom I went fetal with both joy and pain during the youtube.

The light from your mullet...burns...

teh Beauty said...

ALSO not alsom ALSO

moo said...

HAHAHA...beautiful...i am brought unto tears...

RS3 said...

Rollie I think I may be a bit concerned in you saying that the totally awesome yet still virginal Teen girl squad are blow job champs in the same relm as the Sex in the city whores. Besides they don't look like feet like S.J.P.
IT'S OVER!

feeney said...

Ya had me worried there but ya pulled it out in the end.

Bennet said...

HEHEHEHEEHE...funny stuff...


Makes sense. I actually stopped & wondered how this move could gross $56million this passed weekend....Blow jobs...YES...That explains alot.